Snow Suit/Boot Solution

I am so boring that I am actually updating a previous boring blog.  But I am excited that less than a week before our trip to snowy areas I was able to find snow boots for Sophia that not only match her snow suit, they were on sale and they will be here in just a couple days, and will ship for free (thanks, Zappos, you are awesome!).  I actually had given up the search.  But realized that she really truly didn't have anything that would hold up in the snow and keep her feet warm.  I had considered just using some of her ponytail holders to close the footed ends of her snow suit...but that is obviously stupid, haha.  So glad I got on Zappos today (actually Michael got on there and started the search for me) and found the perfect thing.  I have attached first a picture of Sophia in her actual snow suit (taken with my cell phone so it's a little blurry)....she is, as you can tell, very excited to be wearing it over her pj's.  She was probably sweating off a few pounds as I was taking it.  We made it quick, don't worry!  And then the picture of the snow boots...love them!  They are a size bigger than she wears now so I am hoping that they will work for next winter too....if not that is ok, they will look great with her snow suit and since she has started liking shoes so much I am sure she'll wear them around the house a bit too! :-)  Also, I love Zappos VIP....free one business day shipping?  Yes, please, perfect for any and all last minute snow boot shopping!!  



My Little Cutie Pie

It has been quite a few posts since I have posted pictures of my cutie pie so I am going to try to make the next several posts contain at least a few pictures.  We haven't been doing anything super exciting but I have snapped some good pictures of her lately in our day to day life that I am looking forward to sharing. I thought about doing a 'cell phone dump', like I have seen people do before on various blogs, but when I uploaded pics from my iphone last night there were over 600 (including videos)....so I'll have to do a little weeding out before that happens, haha. Anyway, here is the first of a few picture posts! 
Friday of last week I realized that Sophia and I hadn't been out of the house all week long (well I went out once for my MRI....that didn't really count as a fun outing) so we decided that as soon as Daddy got home from work we would go to the mall for a bit.  While we were waiting for him to come home I got out my camera and we had a little photo shoot.  Sophia decided to be a little ham and we had fun.  :-) 

Cheeese....with Mommy!



Silly face!

No more pictures, Mommy!  Pretty much trying to pull the camera out of my hand!

Ok...I guess we can do some more....

Hey!  I got my bow out!  Nothing new there!! :-) 

Of course I took more than this, she was just being so cute and cooperative while the camera was out (not always the case) but just wanted to post some of the cutest.  Usually we have to take like 20 pics to get 2 or 3 good ones but this time almost all of them were good!  And she is actually getting better about picture taking too.  She will even say cheese when we want her to...most of the time.  :-)  More cutie pie pics to come!!

Round 2 and A Doc Who is Not So On Top Of Things

It has been one week and one day since my second MRI.  I haven't really blogged all the details of it yet...because well...it was sort of similar to the first.  I guess it should've been better, I knew what I was getting into.  And I guess in some ways that made it a little better.  But in some ways that made me even more apprehensive.  Oh, that and the fact that the doc didn't call in my prescription for the so-called 'relaxation' drug until ten minutes until six on the Friday after noon before (I had been calling all day because I knew that I wouldn't be able to get anything the morning of...it was scheduled for 7:45 on Monday morning)...I was pretty close to actually cancelling the whole thing.  I barely made it through the first one with the help of the prescription, I knew there was no chance that I would make it through without. 
Anyway.  Michael and I decided that bringing donuts and bagels would be a nice thank-you to the people there who had already helped me get through the first one and perhaps an I'm sorry to those that still had to deal with me for the second.  It was a lot more crowded, even though it was so early, and we had to wait longer to go back.  This did nothing for my nerves.  Oh and I had taken both pills at the same time, a good couple of hours ahead of time this go round (instead of on the pharmacists suggestion of just 45 min in advance)....I'm not sure exactly what sort of relaxation level I was supposed to get to but all in all I only got a little drowsy. 
I had to have an IV in my arm this time around.  No biggie.  We were in a different room than the MRI machine (thankfully) so I had a relatively low heart rate at the time and I probably didn't even blink as my new tech (poor guy, he seemed really nice, had no idea what he was getting into, haha) put in my IV and capped it off.  Then we had to head into the room of terror, I mean, the room with the MRI machine. 
As soon as we stepped foot in there, I swear, my heart rate went up.  Same as before.  Lay on table.  This time, no blanket, which I think was a little better, not that it helped much but that was one less thing holding me down, so to speak.  Michael was right at my side and the tech at the other, putting the dye in my IV.  One thing I was nervous about (and had asked about a thousand times) was if anyone had ever had any kind of reaction to the dye.  The tech said no.  I just pictured myself getting nauseous and throwing up in the tube and then not being able to sit up or turn my head to the side (remember, cage and something keeping my head straight) and then choking to death on my own vomit before they could get me out.  Sure, it was trendy for Jimi Hendrix to go out that way but he wasn't doing something as commonplace as having an MRI and he was way cooler than me to start with anyway. They let me lay there a minute to try and 'relax', which didn't ever happen, but I never felt sick or anything so I figured my worse case scenario (with the dye, not necessarily the machine itself) wasn't going to happen. 
It wasn't as long as the first time around, I will give them that.  But just as loud and dark and closed in.  I needed one break, after a particularly long set.  Michael did good, talked the whole time and held my hand.  I may not have felt quite as panicked as the first time, but still just very very scared and I really don't think that there is anything I could say or do or think or take to make that different.  As we left, the tech said that maybe if I had to have another MRI I could get it done at Northside and they could put me under, like they do for babies and small children.  I am not at all insulted, that sounds like a wonderful suggestion, one that you'd think my doctor would've suggested after hearing about the debacle of my first MRI. 
And that is another story, really the main topic of this post.  Michael had asked every day when he has gotten home from work if I have heard from the doctor yet on the results of the second MRI.  Nope.  Apparently, he is being asked a lot, haha.  I have even been asked what is the status.  But I just figured that no news is probably good news.  And also I have figured that if they didn't call to say I have to go back and do more tests, that this is good news for me.  Although not necessarily results.  Anyway, I finally called yesterday, in the morning, and left a message for the assistant to my doctor.  She called me back, close to 5 and said that the doctor hasn't even looked at my scans yet.  Um, what?  She said he wouldn't be in that office today and she would have him take a look at them on Wednesday and then she would call me and let me know what he sees.  Uh, ok.  I guess.  That is surely not the same as 'no news is good news'.  That is more like 'no news is the lazy doctor hasn't even looked to see if there is any news' news.  So now I guess you could say I am a tiny bit more apprehensive than I was before.  I could still hear that I need to do more testing.  Or that he found something on the scans?  A possibility that I haven't really thought too hard about....one that I will just wait to see what he says before I start googling like crazy or worrying like crazy or anything like that.  But I am still pretty annoyed that it took him over a week and a half to just look at the scans.  The last time he sure jumped on them and ordered another more testing before I could even recover from the torture of the first test....just saying! 

The Issue With the Snow Suit

Wow, another blog that doesn't have anything to do with an MRI, yay!  I am sure I will get back to that, but that subject sucks so much, so I have been trying to throw in a few blogs about more upbeat subjects...or at least any other subject but that for the moment. 
A few weeks ago we went to the outlets in Dawsonville and I found the find of the century....a snow suit for Sophia in the Ralph Lauren outlet store...for only $20!!!  It was on sale from something ridiculous like $145...I can't imagine who would pay that (although I've seen those snow suits every year in practically every store since I got pregnant and have wanted one for Soph...even though we don't live in a really snowy area....but there was that snow storm last year....anyway).  Last year Michael ended up letting me get her a cheap one from Baby Gap...not the same.  But it worked in the snow when we needed it.  So I was pretty pumped to find the Ralph one on such a good deal.  Yay for my stylish baby! (And yes, I realize I am a junky for Ralph Lauren baby clothes....he is just a freakin genius and I like almost all the clothes he makes for babies.  But he is pretty pricey.  I never ever pay full price, you can always find a sale on Ralph, plus there is always the outlet.  Maybe he could kick a little something my way for this promo blog....just sayin....)
Here is a picture of it....

Except the one we got is winter white and the belt buckle is square instead of round.  It's so cute, I love it!  (Sorry the pic is so big...I found it on ebay and just copied it, being kinda lazy, instead of just taking a picture of the one we bought...in my defense, Sophia is in her room sleeping, where the actual garment is hanging.)
Well, dumb mommy didn't think of one thing....what shoes will she wear with it??  Last year she couldn't walk and the feet were covered over so it wasn't an issue.  And we are actually going in a few weeks up to North Carolina so Michael and my brother can snowboard and Sophia and I can play in the snow, so she will actually get use out of her new snow suit....but she has to have something on her feet!!  The shoes she has already won't do, either won't keep her feet warm enough or will just get ruined, she'll need something that will work better for the snow.  So today I decided to google baby snow boots, or something like that.  Plenty of hits.  If I want to pay two, three, or even four times the cost of what we paid for the snow suit!!  Really??!!  I don't expect much use out of the snow suit, but at least we didn't pay that much for it....I surely don't expect to get much use out of snow boots.  Is that a fashion she can just wear with normal clothes??  I doubt it.  I think Michael would kill me if I bought the ones that I saw that would go perfectly....with a price tag of $50.  Ugh.  I would even have to kill me.  Nope, sorry, can't pull that trigger.  I don't even spend that on shoes for me (anymore). 
So I guess I will keep looking...I definitely don't want her little feet to freeze, right?! Not sure if this "problem" makes me wish we lived in a place that had more or less snow...I guess if we got more snow year round and she would get good use out the boots then I could see spending a decent amount...but if it never snowed at all then we wouldn't have spent the money on the snow suit (which is darn cute, you gotta say) in the first place and I wouldn't even be looking for snow boots.  Or if we were the kind of family that wintered in Aspen or something I might be anyway, you know, for our awesome ski vacation.  Ah, well.  But we are not.  Sigh.  Maybe someday.   
For now, back to searching high and low for something to keep Sophia's feet warm and dry, something that will not break the bank!  Next winter, if it snows, we'll just enjoy it from indoors.  Mommy is definitely over her "the baby needs a snow suit" phase!! :-) 

This Cracks Me Up

So my second MRI is very early tomorrow morning.  I am still very nervous, even though I know exactly what to expect.  I guess I will blog more about it later, but for now I wanted to try and take my mind off of it (if that is possible) and talk about something that makes me laugh.  Ironically, it is Elmo.  Yes, you read that correctly, Elmo, the little red monster from Sesame Street my almost 17 month old daughter loves.  Michael has an app on his iphone for PBS kids and a couple weeks ago he said, hey look at this, it's pretty funny.  Wow, understatement of the year!  Here is it, you be the judge. 




Sophia loves it because it is Elmo, of course, but she doesn't seem to find it as funny as I do.  I particularly like Elmo's hilarious (and possibly inappropriate) pelvic thrust dancing near the beginning.  And his rap.  I have said to Michael that he should memorize the words (we play it so much for Sophia...yeah, for Sophia...that we do almost know all the words) and sing it to me at the MRI tomorrow.  He would have to sing it really really loud for me to be able to hear him....it would probably relax me but we decided that I would most likely laugh and move my head so we decided against it.  We also decided that all the tech's would think we were freaks (if they don't already think that I am, which is debatable). 
I am not a Justin Bieber fan at all so I had no idea that this song was actually a parody of a real Biebs song, Never Say Never, or something like that.  I looked it up on itunes and listened to the sample and could hear the similarities....good job, Sesame Street, good job.  And I think I like the Biebs as a puppet.  I appreciate his hair flipping, gotta keep it true to the real JB!  Who knew Sesame Street was the SNL for kids??!!  

FEAR = MRI

Yesterday was my MRI.  I thought that I was as prepared as I could be for it, I had asked as many questions as I could think of and everyone I talked to was nice and friendly and even answered my stupid questions and helped me to feel as ready as I was going to feel.  I had two pills for anxiety in hand, thinking that I would really only need one.  My husband was with me.  We didn't even hit traffic on the way there, something that would have only added to my anxiety.  Well, it was a lot worse than I expected.  A lot.  Oh and I expected fairly bad. 
I guess I can start from the start.  I had to be at the location at 9:30 am.  My mom arrived to watch Sophia (who was still sleeping) so we left our house at 8:30 am and headed towards the Northside area.  I was pretty sure we'd be stuck right in rush hour traffic (so we had a back way planned) but surprisingly things were moving right along and we got to our destination by 9.  I had to fill out some forms (of course) and Michael was supposed to let me know to take my (one) relaxer pill at quarter after 9.  As soon as I turned in the forms, we went with a nice gentleman who brought us back to another area to wait (I had to use the bathroom...my stomach was in knots already...I went ahead and took the pill then).  He took us in to a little room after that, asked me some more questions (and I had missed signing some areas on the paperwork) and told me to change into a gown.  At which point I showed him (not totally, haha) that I didn't have any metal on my clothes and was really just in sweatpants and a shirt so if it was ok I wanted to just stay in my own clothes.  He said that was just fine.  He said that it probably would take maybe like 30-40 mintues, not as long as I had originally been told, which sounded good.  Then he led me back and we left Michael in the waiting area.  He was talking to me the whole time, asking me how long we'd been married, about Sophia, that kind of thing.  I guess distracting me from the giant MRI machine.  I tried to not look at it at all as he had me lay down on a narrow, flat bed table thing.  My heart was totally pounding.  I think he was asking me about what football team I liked or something at that point.  As he was putting something next to my head to keep it straight (not a helmet though, good) and a triangle shaped pillow up under my knees.  Then he gave me some earplugs and covered me with a blanket and had me cover my eyes with a white washcloth.  At this point I was completely shaking and my heart was seriously racing.  He kept saying that my relaxation pill should kick in at any time.  My hands were down at my sides and I was trying to stay completely still, if you consider shaking like a leaf completely still.  Then he started moving the table I was laying on and I knew that he was moving me back into the tube.  Despite the washcloth covering my eyes (and the fact that my eyes were squeezed shut), it got darker and I could completely tell I was inside of something.  Oh and my elbow brushed against the side as I was moving back so I knew exactly how small of a space I was entering into. 
I will now say that no matter how I would've classified myself before...slightly claustrophobic, claustrophic tendencies, whatever....I can say without a doubt that I am terrified of enclosed spaces.  Elevators don't bother me.  But if one was overpacked and got stuck, I would probably freak out.  I am scared of things, sure.  Not needles, those don't bother me in the least.  I hate snakes and bugs, but as long as they stay away from me I don't think I have a problem with them.  I don't really have a problem with heights...although in some cases I can feel very scared of them...but normally when I feel like others could fall (I had a nightmare when I was pregnant about my nephew falling from a balcony and he was just out of my reach....when my brother was little and we were in Hawaii, he was dangling his legs from the balcony and I was terrified he would fall....I am always so scared when someone holding my daughter goes near a railing...things like that...it is somewhat paralyzing to me, the fear that they could go over the side).  I couldn't be on Fear Factor because I would surely gag and barf if I had to eat bugs...and now I know that there is no way in this entire world that I could make it through a challenge for any amount of money that involved enclosed spaces.  It was a little different all the other circumstances in the past that I have dealt with before.  On amusement park rides, I tend to feel claustrophic in the seats that go over your head and push on your chest, or even worse, hold in your legs.  So I no longer ride those rides.  In an airplane (which I already hate to fly) I feel like I am trapped in the seat that is near the window and so sitting on an aisle can sometimes help me to move my legs and not feel so closed in. And during my c-section, when I felt like I was being crushed and wasn't able to move at all...well, at least I could move my arms and head around and I got a beautiful baby girl out of it.  Next time things will be different with that.  With an MRI, you can't try to make it bearable, that uncomfortable claustrophobia.  And it is terrifying.
Anyway, back to my experience.  I am in the tube and I am panicking, big time.  I told him to get me out of there!!  He said ok and actually did it pretty quickly. He said I did great, that I had gotten all the way back in there. He didn't let me get up off the table, he kept me laying there for a minute to calm down.  Not something that was happening.  He talked to me about something else random.  More football, maybe?  Finally, I asked him if taking the other pill I had would help me?  He said it can't hurt and there is no reason to save it.  So he helped me up and we went to find Michael to get my purse with the pill.  I took it and sat down while they talked about football for a while.  I'm not sure how much time passed but Michael commented that he thought that I wasn't shaking anymore so surely at least the first pill should've been working by now.  I cannot say I felt calm, but maybe kinda tired?  Finally, I had to go back in to try again.  Back on the narrow table, propped knees, earplugs, washcloth over my eyes.  Stupid pill was NOT working.  I was still so scared!  I asked if he could just hold on to my leg or foot or something as I went back in to the tube so he said sure.  He was asking me stuff and rubbing my foot (normally I hate people touching my feet at all but he could've given me a full foot massage at this point) and back I was going and I wasn't very calm at all.  This time I put my hands up on my stomach so my arms wouldn't brush the side of the tube.  But it was still dark and I just knew that it was a very narrow space.  I could hear him talking to me through a speaker or something and he said I was doing good (liar) and that he was going to take a picture now.  There was this clicking or popping sound...I thought, ok, that isn't too bad....and then it was this super loud grating continuous noise.  My heart pretty much stopped and simultaneously was beating out of my chest, if that is even possible.  I was breathing so fast that I didn't even think my head was able to stay still...and I felt like I had to get out of there that second.  The noise finally stopped and the second it did and I said get me out, get me out, get me out until he did get me out.  He said that I did so good and he was able to get a good picture and everything.  Then he said would I feel better if my husband was in there with me.  And I said yes, please.  And I said that I was sorry that I was so scared and making things take so long.  He said that I had to stay on the table but not in the tube so that was ok with me and he went to get Michael.  I was thinking that maybe if it was just the short clicking/popping noises that I would be able to do it, but the loud clanging noises made it seem like the tubing was closing in on me, which was what I was so scared of in the first place, and so I had no idea how I was going to get through this.  I was also thinking what kind of calming pills had I taken, since I wasn't any calmer than if I had just taken a tylenol?! 
Finally Michael came in with him.  I will take a second to say that I have the best husband in the world.  He was probably enjoying watching his Sportscenter or whatever and then to have to come back and deal with my craziness and fear.  But he did great.  He held my hand (which he had to lean way in to reach it...I was stretching my hand out to get his too...come to find out it was his bad shoulder, I could've pulled it out of the socket) which I am sure I squeezed too hard and he rubbed my leg and he talked to me the entire time.  I couldn't always hear exactly what he was saying over the loud clanging noise but I knew he was talking to me.  I did have to come out at one point, after a particularly long set of the clanging noise.  I happened to reach up (I don't think I was all the way out of the tube) to adjust the washcloth and opened my eyes for a second and there was a definite cage over my head. Oh geez.  I only saw like a fraction of it, but I am pretty positive it was just like the one I saw on the internet when I did my search.  Ugh.  Oh well, it took me that long to realize it, nothing I could do about it by then.  After Michael came back to be with me, I really only had to come out for one break.  Although I was starting to feel the panic well up again after one set and the tech got on the intercom thing and said, ok, last one and it's a short one, only like one minute.  So then I knew I could just get it over with.  For the record, I never felt calm from the pills, I must not have taken them far enough before hand for them to work, even though I did exactly what the pharmacy told me to do.  Only having Michael there made it so that I could keep the panic aside enough to let the tech take the pictures.  After we were done, I asked the tech if I could have a picture with him for my blog.  He laughed and said that was a first.  I thanked him for being so patient and told him he was probably happy that he would never have to see me again.  He said that despite how scared I was, I didn't move my head once and he was able to get all good pictures.  He said that within 48 hours I should hear some results. 

By the time I got home, I was starting to feel the effects of the pills.  Not what I was looking for, to be drugged up after the MRI.  My mom stayed and played with Sophia while I dozed on the couch and then when it was Sophia's naptime, she left.  Soph and I both napped at the same time.  Around 4-ish, my phone rang and I was surprised to see it was the Neurologist calling.  It was Nicole, my doctor's assistant and she said that my doctor had looked over my scans already (wow!).  He thought that they looked good, pretty normal, but that he saw some narrowing of my blood vessels throughout my brain.  She said this is not neccesarily bad but that he would like for me to have a contrast scan done to further look into it.  Um, what?  What did she just say?  Did she really just say, after I just spent the morning going through the worst thing that I have had to go through (even though I really do know that there are worse things in life that can happen), that I have to get another MRI????  Yes, I do, in fact, have to get another MRI.  This time, with contrast.  Which means they will hook me up to an IV that will run some dye into my brain so the pictures will better show the blood vessels.  She said that Northside will call me to set it up and they can prescibe me something again for it.  I hung up with her, but called Michael immediately.  And cried.  He said it would be ok, he'd go with me again and it would be ok.  He was going to be home from work soon anyway so once we hung up, I called back the place where I had just been that morning to get my normal MRI.  I said that I had been there that day, wanted to talk to a tech to ask some questions, it didn't have to be my tech, but it could be and the lady said she'd see who she could find...well a nice sounding lady got on the phone.  I told her who I was and she said, oh, your husband went back in with you?  Great, I'm famous for my wimpyness.  Anyway, as soon as I tried to tell her I had to come back, I started to cry.  She said it was ok, that a lot of people are really scared and even some people that aren't claustrophobic have a hard time getting MRI's.  She said that Michael can come back with me again and that the contrast scans don't take quite as long as the ones without.  She also said that this time I should take both of the pills at the same time and maybe quite a bit longer before than I did this time.  So as much as I DO NOT want to do this again, at least I am going to a place that caters to complete wimps and are super patient.  Even I am annoyed with myself. 
But despite that, I am still scared and nervous to go back.  I had nightmares about both the experience I had and the one I haven't yet had all night last night.  I have been thinking about it all day....how I can try to make it different, go better, smoother, be less scary...and I can't come up with how that will happen.  Because I know that when they slide me back into that dark tube and that loud clanging noise starts up...I will be in the middle of a fear that I didn't even really know I ever had until now. 
Oh, I hope I can make it though, one more time.  And I hope when I say one more time, it really will be just one more time!

Nervous, and a bit Annoyed

So Friday everything got squared away as far as my appointment for my MRI goes.  I knew I was going to be a pain in the neck for the poor scheduler and I didn't disappoint.  Thankfully she was so nice and helpful and when she got to a point that she couldn't answer my (stupid) questions, she got a tech on the line with us who was also super nice and able provide even more details. 
First of all, it took a few doses, but my back of the headache went away with the prescription of Fioricet w/Codeine. (Except yesterday it came back, I'll get to that)  So I was feeling pretty good.  I called Northside to get things scheduled and talked to a very nice lady and explained that I needed to set up an MRI, that she should have the order from my doctor.  She did.  Then I said that I had made the mistake of googling a closed MRI and that I might be a tad claustrophobic.  Well, she said, the facility that the doctor wanted me to go to did not have an open MRI and also she said what I already knew, better pictures come from a closed.  I told her that I definitely wanted to try to do the closed but I had a ton of questions and maybe I would feel better and not so nervous (ha, not likely) if I could just get those answered before the appointment date.  She said she would do her best to make me feel more at ease.  I first asked how long the procedure would last....around 40 minutes was her answer.  Ugh, 40 minutes of not moving.  Sounds unbearable and I know if I move at all it will just take longer.  Ok, moving on.  Will my entire body go into the tube thing or just my head, since it is just on my head?  She seemed apologetic, but unfortunately most of my body will be going in the tube despite the fact that it is only on my head.  Great.  Tube-like coffin, here I come.  I was pretty much pacing around my room at that point.  Was my head going to be in a cage?  Was I going to be strapped down?  At this point, the poor scheduler didn't know what to say.  She said could I hold a second while she got a tech on the line with us?  Sure.  Another very nice lady joined the line and nice scheduler explained that I was a first time MRI-er and I was a bit nervous.  To say the least.  Turns out, my head won't be in a cage, but will be in a helmet.  Really not that much difference there.  Laying on a fluffy pillow would've put me at ease, put in a helmet does nothing but make my blood pressure raise and make me panic.  And I haven't even seen it yet.  As far as being strapped down.  She seemed to consider before answering this.  She said they don't have to strap me down, I can just lay there.  I seemed to consider before saying they would be seriously sorry if they even tried to strap me down.  But I didn't say that.  I said that I had read online that a lot of people brought in their own music to listen to and that kept their mind off what was going on...sadly, this is not an option at this facility.  But most importantly, what is an option, is me getting a prescription from my doctor for a sedative/medication for anxiety that I can take right before the MRI to help me get through the whole thing.  You can bet that I took care of that today.  My appointment is for 10am this Wednesday, with my check in time at 9:30am.  The closer it gets, the more nervous I get. 

And then, today, to add just a little more to my anxiety, I had to deal with the most ridiculous call ever from insurance.  Yesterday, my back of the head headache came back.  And in the middle of the night last night, it woke me up, felt like a knife going into my head and has felt that way most of today.  The prescription was not working at all.  And I took two doses so I wasn't sure what to do about it.  So I felt terrible.  Right before the most annoying call ever, I had a call from a super nice guy at Northside (do they employ all of the nicest people ever or what?!) getting me pre-checked in or whatever and verifying info and oh, yeah the little matter of cost.  Turns out an MRI on the brain is the bargain price of $885, just $115 short of my deductible.  Oh well.  At least they are super nice and only need 1/3 up front and we can pay the rest in payments.  I no sooner take care of that then my phone rings again and it is so and so from Blue Cross and he verifies some of my info and then verifies that my doctor (that he named, he didn't ask for his name from me or anything) wants me to have an MRI.  Uh, yeah.  He goes on to say that while he sees that I am planning on having it at Northside (a place he doesn't know the rating of....meanwhile I am silent, thinking really?  Guess he didn't do his homework) and it will cost four to six thousand dollars but I could have it at all these other random top rated places that could only cost four to five hundred dollars (names of places I have not heard of, he might as well said Bob's Drive-Thru MRI's)....I really haven't said anything and have no idea what he wants me to say.....then he is like do I want to schedule it at one of those places??  Um...NO.  Also, guy, I JUST got off the phone with Northside and we JUST were told how much it is going to be (not to mention partially paid) and you aren't even close at all with how much you said it is.  So he is like, well, no, you will have to pay more than that, and then I say, maybe, but not more than $1000 because that is my deductible.  This guy is literally arguing with me and saying that my doctor really doesn't know what he knows (is he kidding me??) and that I can go anywhere to get my MRI and take the CD of images to the doctor (oh, yeah, I am sure that is how it is done....I watch Grey's Anatomy, I have never once seen McDreamy look at a CD of images).  I really started to get angry.  I said something like "I don't mean to be rude" although I probably didn't care if I was being rude at all, and then I said I know that he is not a doctor so I am going to go wherever my doctor tells me to go for my MRI.  And that I know, based on what our coverage is, that we should NOT have to pay more than our deductible because of Northside being one of the covered places to go, etc (I know this because I had my baby at Northside and even though I had to have a c-section, we still only paid the deductible).  I also told him that I already was taking medicine to treat migraines that hardly worked because of insurance not covering what the doctor tried to prescribe to me (I think I did a whole post on here about that) and I am already so nervous and scared about this MRI that this is a one time thing (hopefully) and I won't be doing it over, we will be getting the very best pictures possible, so this is it.  The guy was just relentless.  I was so angry and so fed up that I told him that I didn't care how much it cost, I was not interested in a hole in the wall MRI place.  He gave me a phone number and some stupid website to check out in case I changed my mind, which I WON'T, and I finally got him of the phone.  Later, when I told Michael, who double checked and verified that we would only have to pay our deductible at most, he said that he thought maybe it was someone Blue Cross would pay a commission to if they could get me to change my mind and go to a cheaper place.  Only makes me more annoyed.  I just want to call back that number and tell that idiot that no matter how much it costs Blue Cross, we will NOT have to pay a cent more than $1000.  But, I will (probably) not do that.  Although, the next time I have to deal with insurance, the next one of their 'representatives' that calls me and dares to suggest to me what to do versus what a doctor what told me what to do....heaven help that person. 

Anyway, I hope that Wednesday is not as bad as I fear.  At least I have two little pills to bring with me that will hopefully take away the majority of my anxiety (or maybe just make me pass out?).  I really just want it to be over with.  I hope that the doctor is able to find a reason for my headache issues (ones that can be treated, nothing life-threatening, that is an entirely different worry altogether) and can maybe find a way to prevent them from occurring so often.